class & this blog

I had class last night.  Left early again.  Too tired.  I probably won't do much on this blog this week.  

Thursday--ugly art

So, my biggest fear in art is creating "ugly".  And then have to face the fact that I have no talent.  I thought maybe, instead of worrying about making a pretty drawing, I could make an ugly one.  Voila.  This picture was much more of a pleasure.  I would grab a pastel without even looking at the color, and then draw a line, or a smudge.  And just watch the ugliness unfold.

So, then what is beauty?  Some say it's truth.  But Picasso said "all art is a lie".  Which is true, so how can any art be beautiful?  The original glimpse of an idea, inside the artist's head is the truth. In my opinion, the great artists are the ones who can most closely recreate that vision.  Whether through painting, sculpture or concept art.  If you can most clearly articulate your truth than you've succeeded.  So, since I sat down to draw an ugly lady, I feel like my finished product is a masterpiece.  Cuz she ain't pretty.

 

That's my theory.  All I know, is I want to make more hideously, ugly art.  

Tuesday--last night

Figure drawing class was ok.  But, I was really tired.  Just couldn't get any kind of flow.  This drawing was the best I could muster.  Also, I was having some serious ADD, and I could only stay on a drawing for a few minutes, before I wanted to move on.  The last pose, the model fell asleep.  I was drawing her face and it was all I could do to stay awake.  Sympathy sleepiness.   

Weekend--head study

So, I redid the head.  Sorry for the stripe across it, I'm not sure why that's there.  Again, my scanner is quality.  In the background (slightly above the head) you would see two yellow plates, a glass and a dish of salt.  They didn't fit into the scan, so you have to imagine them.  Also, scripture references.  And of course the jar is near her shoulder (it's hard to see here).

Figure drawing is tonight.  I saw some etchings online.  They were amazing.  Ethereal and unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm going to try to reproduce the effect with charcoal/crayon.  Should be interesting.  

Thurs--profile sketch

Wow, I'm not doing such a hot job with this blog.  I've been so tired the last few days.  By the time everyone's asleep, I want to be doing the same.  Like right now, sitting is making me drowsy.

Anyways, enough of my excuses.  There's always time to get things done, it's all the other junk that stops me.  So, here's my work from today.  It's far from an hour of art, more like 15 minutes.  But, it's a good start.  I'm suppose to be painting this week, but so far that hasn't happened.  Procrastination is my weakness.  Also, I get sidetracked by lots of other things.  

(brown pastel crayon on newsprint.)

Mon--Figure drawing class tonight

It was so nice to go back!  Same people, same model.  It's great to see how everyone's styles have evolved.  Also, since it's very loose and casual, there are people moving around the room.  I sat on the floor for the last hour, until my leg fell asleep.  But, it made for more interesting poses and opportunities to draw foreshortened angles.  Right now, my whole bodys about to fall asleep.  Only got 4 hours of sleep last night.  So, I don't feel like going downstairs to get my drawings and then schleping them up to the scanner.  (which probably won't work anyway)  Soooo, tomorrow?  I haven't been very good at posting my things.  But, at least I'm doing them.

Oh, also, I work more on my sketch for the painting.  In fact, I killed it.  Yet again, I need to learn when to quit.  I'll redraw it tomorrow.  

But, it was a good art day.  Oh, also I heard a quote that I liked.  Paraphrasing, it said something like "Creativity is the process of creating something out of nothing"  That was Amy Tan (Joy Luck Club author).  She also joked that "creative" people have some kind of mental disorders.  Ha!  That explains it. :)  

found the pose

Here's the pose I'm going to use.  With a table in the background (not quite like the photo).  I started a drawing tonight, and I really like it.  I'm too tired to fight with the scanner, so I'll have to do that in the morning.  But, I did draw today. 

Sat--does this count?

Paige was perfectly still playing webkinz, so I started drawing her.  But, since I couldn't get her to look away from her game, I started drawing silly things.  This got her attention.  She thinks it's one of my best drawings.  

Thursday-start of head

This drawing didn't happen until tonight, and as you can see it's not finished.  I tried a new angle, one that put the viewer at a lower position.  

The right eye was killing me!  In fact, I erased it so many times the paper finally gave way.  So, after the hole, I decided to quit for the night.  

What's amazing is how all of our faces are so similar.  Just a millimeter completely changes things.  

Tuesday--tomorrow is my first day (I promise:)

So, if only there was 25 hours in the day.  I could get everything done.  Sleep is not really necessary, right?  Not much art happened today.  Oh, and tomorrow (my first day with the kids all in school) I'm getting my hair done.  It hasn't been touched all summer, and is looking shabby. So, I'll try to pull something together tomorrow night.  

Mon--guardian

Dang it, I don't have a big sketch done for the painting. But I finally have an idea in my head.  Two actually.  I'll draw a larger version tomorrow and post it. (I promise)  

This picture is of a drawing I did today outside.  It was part of a larger picture, but I didn't like the rest.  In fact when I got home, I tried to "fix" it.  But, sort of destroyed it.  So this is all that's left.    It was originally a male angel hovering over my mom.  It wasn't a perfect likeness, but I liked it, especially since it was coming from my imagination.  I wish I wouldn't have messed with it at home, because I killed it's looseness.  I'll have to make her another one.

What was new for me, was when I sat down with my paper, I didn't have any idea what I was going to draw.  But, as I started I was just laying down loose gestures of a face.  This eventually developed into a man.  And after I drew two lines, it was clear that he was crouching and looking directly at the viewer.  He looked protective.  So then I put a young woman in front of him.  It sort of went from there.  My Mom's pb says she has guardian angels, so I guess this is how I picture them.  Male with beautiful eyes, standing over her. 

 This was one of the first times, I've really been able to "see" like that.  Sort of close my eyes, and see what's in my head, then draw.  That was the best part about drawing today, even though I ruined the finished product.

blue room

I forgot to write about this picture.  It's from a dream I've had for a long time.  Sort of dark, but I liked drawing it.  Maybe I won't have it anymore.

Deadline...what day is it?

Took some more pictures.  Still haven't got exactly the right idea.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  This may lead to procrastination.  But, I'm committed to sticking to my goal.  I'll get some kind of a sketch up here by Saturday.  That way I can start painting on Wednesday (after the holiday).  Eeeeee, I'm scared to paint.  Silly, I know.  But, I just think about all the time it takes to get set up and then if I screw it up, how frustrated I get.  This is a real love-hate thing for me.  Either I love it to the tops or I hate it until I want to love it again.  

Studio is mostly finished...

It still needs another coat of paint.  But, considering how heavy the ladder is, I'll probably make-do with less than perfect (slightly blueish) off-white.  It's an improvement.  Just to have a room to call my own is awesome.  The light in there is so nice.  I need a better adjective, but I'm too tired.  

Lily is my companion in there.  She likes to spin on my chair.  Even though I always tell her to get down.  The kids went to town on the chalkboard wall.  They give me inspiration.  They just draw without thinking.  I wish I could be like that.  After drawing for a few minutes, I can almost get there.  Where the marks just show-up on the paper.  It's very zen.  Just to let it flow.  It's like when you're dancing or running or (for me) riding a horse or whatever else.  Just movement without thought.  Movement just to enjoy moving.   

Wednesday--my scanner is suicidal

My scanner is not working properly.  It keeps zooming in on my pictures as I scan them in.  Earlier today, I was picturing myself dropping it out the window...and then going a little Office-space on it.  

This scan is only a small part of the drawing I did today.  It's conte, chalk & pencil.  It was nice drawing a man's face for a change.  I'm sick of looking at/drawing my own.  Stubble and thicker skin and texture.  Rougher.  It was nice.

Tuesday--female figure

Unfinished pencil sketch.  Didn't have time to finish this one.  This is also from an anatomy book.  Her arm is a little too straight.  I need to go back to the figure drawing class. It's kind of a neat format, you just show up Monday nights and draw.  Real people make for better pictures than photos.  That's just my opinion.  

Monday--figure from photo

A man from my anatomy book.  He's in two pieces.  Big paper, little scanner.  I liked drawing today.  It's so nice to have a place to work, without any interruptions.   This is pencil & chalk.  

Also, I'm a little stumped on my painting.  I've lost my original vision.  It got all mixed up in my brain.  I've got to figure this out.  Nothing is really striking me.  Mmmmm.

Saturday--drawing deficit

Not doing so hot on the art thing this week.  The studio will be finished by tonight.  School starts Monday.  So, I'm predicting lots of art making next week.  I still need to do something today.  Hopefully later this evening.  I'll post it tonight if it happens.

P.S. Mark you're reading my blog!  Yay :)  Isn't Cannon beach beautiful?  That's my favorite place on the coast too.  The beach and the town.  Thanks for the accountability!  Maybe I'll actually make some art now.

Thurs--unreadable

These sketches, like my handwriting, are illegible.  Except to me.  I was in a writing mood, instead of drawing.  My mood is affecting my ability to draw.  I wish I could be constant.

Also, I want to work on some different compositions for my painting.  I know I'd like the figure to be near a single light source.  Coming out of somewhere darker into somewhere lighter.  And then I need to figure out how to draw/paint this scene more from life.  From photo, it's too flat.  And, although I'm using myself to draw from, I don't necessarily want the painting to look like me.  I'm just not that skilled at drawing from my head.  I need to take some more photos of what I'm thinking of.

Wed--I need a vacation from my vacation

Wow, I keep thinking it's Monday.  We got back last night from the beach.  I was able to squeeze in some drawing each day.  There's sand in my pencil box. Have some ideas for paintings.  Had some bizarre dreams, maybe they can be starting points for inspiration.  

I've got to get my room done, so I can start using it.  School is starting next Monday, so I'll be busy getting ready for that.  But, by the 1st week in September, the kids will all be in school (MWF I'll have 3 hours in the morning while Lily & Grace are at preschool).  I love my kids, but it will be nice to have a break.  I'm looking forward to a quiet house.  I will be fighting the urge to clean instead of use that time for painting.  

Timeline for my painting:

August 30th--composition worked out/final sketch done

September 6th--underpainting roughed in

September 13th--first layer--larger masses

September 20th--2 layers of glaze

September 27th--2-3 layers of glaze/finish

October 1st--pictures/application submitted

Done 

(Courbet, Calm Sea)

To whom it may concern...

Since I haven't really, officially told anybody about this blog, I doubt this matters.  But, we're going to the beach.  So, I won't be posting till Monday.  Don't be sad, my imaginary readers.  This blog is kind of a funny idea.  I thought it would help me be accountable, but when I haven't told anybody about it, it's actually kind of stupid.  So, that would probably explain why I haven't posted any actual work the last few days.  The irony.  I want some accountability, but I don't want anyone to look at this thing.  

Once the room is done being painted, then I guess I'll have to start "painting-painting".  No more stalling.  Maybe then, I'll have something more interesting to post.  Maybe not.  What do I know? Not much.  

Plus, it doesn't help that I'm in need of inspiration.  Maybe the beach will be good.  I like the ocean.  But, I miss the Pacific (see picture, that's a real beach).  It's so much more moody than the Atlantic.  Here the water is warm, flat, boring.  Blah.  Where are the cliffs?  And, I thought oceans had waves?  But, then again, the ocean is a good place to be.  I'll take whatever I can get.

Here's to sand between my toes (and out of my swimsuit).  Oh, and maybe a sketch or two. 

Monday--painting the studio

So, I did use a paint brush this week.  Just not in the way I prefer.  But, we did get started on the walls in the studio.  (I'm still embarrassed to call it that, by the way)  It surprised me how formidable the black wall looked.  Before the walls were a pale blue and they sort of floated away.  The black just stands there, refusing to recede.  

Also, I found the coolest of cool gadgets.  It's a little flat brush thing with rollers on one side.  It's for all the edges, and it makes perfectly straight lines.  No more cutting in.  No more taping.  (I hate that crap)  Especially helpful where the black & white paint meet.  No where do you notice screw-ups more than there.

Wednesday--just thinking

I was just reading my book "1,000 places to go before you die".  Highlighting the places I've been.  And then I was thinking about how these places reoccur in my dreams.  Like a historic street with "I didn't know they made paint that bright" buildings in Puerto Rico, or the rainy day on Montmartre, or the dark woods in Oregon.  Etc.  I guess seeing new places inspires me.  As well as comforts me.  Since, all these places, as far and remote, or as strange as they can be, still fall under the same laws.  Gravity, still there.  Sky, still there.  Sun, moon, stars, air, dirt, plants of some sort...still there.  People.  In all their states, still there.  

But, it's seeing these things in their variety.  Not just seeing.  Hearing, tasting, touching.  Being.  The way these places relate to places I've been before.  And, then change the memories of those other places.  

And, just like color.  When experiences are placed next to others, they change.  Because of their relationship.  They are defined by their relationship.  This is why we can all experience the exact same thing in so many different shades.  Contrast.

Tuesday--nada

I'm in a funk.  Just a sort of malaise.  The only mark making I did yesterday was to-do lists.  And, if standing and staring at my drawing table for 30 seconds counts, then I did that too.  And now it's raining.   

Here's the hands

These are the hands I was talking about.  Sort of looks like the jar is being cradled.  I like that.

Sunday--Eye drawing

Oh, also I got sick last week so that slowed me down a bit.  Who ever invented antibiotics, I love you.  The doctor was chastising me for waiting so long to come see her.  Sorry, I'm a little busy. This week things should be more productive.  Here's my first thing for the week, just some eyes.  Not much.  Also, I need to come up with a timeline for my painting.  I've been sketching a few different poses, I've got the perfect hands, but I'm still trying to figure out the face.  Mainly the eyes.  But, I can only dedicate so much time each day.  Which is hard, especially with my new tempting room.  Oh, also we're going to the beach on Thursday, so I'll be drawing in the car more.  Dramamine, please.

lots of drawing, not much blogging

This past week has been very busy.  I'm just glad I got my drawing time in.  Not enough left over to blog about it.  Mainly, I've been trying to get my art room finished.  It's coming together.  I'm going to start painting it tomorrow.  The main wall I'm putting a 3 ft strip of magnetic paint wall-to-wall and then chalkboard paint on top of that, covering the entire wall.  Then I can switch out things I'm working on without hurting the walls.  The rest of the walls will be painted white.  This will be fairly easy, although I'll need to find our ladder (which means digging through the garage...that could be dangerous) 

My Art Room--before photos

Here's the guest room after we emptied it out.  I need to go get some furniture for it today, so I actually use it.

  

Church Art competition

The church is having it's annual art competition.  It's open to members of the church and the theme this year is: "Rememering the Great Things of God" This theme is drawn from scriptures that teach the importance of acknowledging and remembering God's works, promises, and covenants to his children."

Submissions are due by Oct 10th.  Deadlines are good for me.  I get more done.  So, I'll work on my alabaster painting.  The idea of the painting being to consecrate our lives to God.

Friday--rework alabaster jar

While reading in the New Testament, I came across the story of the woman with the alabaster jar of ointment.  This struck me.  Partly because I'd never heard the story and partly because I think it applies to all of us.  This reminded me of the story in Luke about the woman who annointed Jesus' feet with ointment and her tears.  There's a painting in the Louvre of this story.  That was one of my favorites.  She's using her long hair to wash his feet.  

At any rate, I want to paint the other story.  To me, her ointment represents our faith, works, talents, whatever we can give to the Lord.  Anything that is precious, that we choose to sacrifice.  After doing some reading about what the alabaster jar really was, I was even more intrigued.  In biblical times, people would purchase these small vessels that were made of alabaster (a porous marble) filled with strong perfume.  The jars were not meant to be opened, but rather would slowly release the perfume through the alabaster, over time.  Because the perfume was expensive, these were precious items.  That's why the disciples were astonished that she broke it and used it to anoint Christ.  To me, I picture this woman learning about Jesus and probably hearing him speak.  I picture her in the moment she first believes that Jesus is the Messiah.    I see her picking up the jar and taking it to the dinner.  And I see her feeling hesitant and unsure if it will be well received.  In the instant I read the passage, I felt the parallel.  Our own acts that show our faith.  Our fears about whether our gifts are worthy to be received.  And ultimately that anything that is precious to us that we then give to the Lord, is worthy to the Lord. 

So, this study is just the head.  You can't see that she is holding the jar.  I think I will show her though a door frame, inside her house.  In a quiet moment.  

Thursday--study for painting

So, I tried drawing again this afternoon.  I was still having problems, but after redrawing this pose for the 5th time, I feel satisfied.  Although,  she sort of looks like she belongs on a can of refried beans.  Hello, Rosarita.  This was taken from a picture of me, but I was trying to keep from an exact likeness.  But, I don't know if I'm any good at that.  The eyes just came out looking wrong.  Oh well.  I don't think I want to draw anymore today.  This is a study for a painting I want to do.  

Art and anger management

So, I'm having a bad day.  I'm feeling very frustrated, after redrawing the same picture 3 times.  This is the point where I feel like I'm very silly to have even attempted any of this.  Why empty out the guest room,  this is a joke.  I can't draw !!! I just feel embarassed that I started this whole thing. It's just a no good morning.  Plus I feel like there's not really any thing I can do well.  I guess I have to accept my averageness in life.  Long story short, I don't have anything to show, because I threw the pictures away.  I think I'm going to go scream into a pillow now. 

Room of one's own

For as long as I've wanted to paint, I've always put it off because I didn't have a good place to do it.  It's messy, and with little kids, a disaster was inevitable if I kept my paints in the main part of the house.  I've always wanted to use the guest bedroom for an art room, but felt selfish asking for it.  And funny thing, on our way back from Palmyra, Travis said, "we need to take all of the furniture out of the guest room, so you can have a place to paint".  I wouldn't have done this without him (my "life-coach") forcing me.  I feel a little presumptive/indulgent to have a whole room to myself.  Let alone a room dedicated to creating art.  But, if "life coach" insists, than I'm not going to argue.    

Back when we were building the house, this was my favorite room.  It's sort of an extension off the rear of the house and it's under it's own roof. So, it's quiet.  It has a vaulted ceiling, huge windows and is out of direct sunlight.  Perfect for an art room.

We're going to paint the walls white (match the trim) and put up a corkboard wall/shelf.  I need storage, seating, etc.  I'll put up some pictures when it's done.  

.  

Tuesday--one armed Paige

This was fun.  We (by we, I mean Lily, Paige, Grace and I) drew a portrait of Paige this morning.  We were on the couch, with Paige sitting quietly, cross-legged; Lily lying across the top cushions and Grace climbing all about.  A little bit distracting.  So, I decided to let the girls "help me".  Thus the Picasso-esque hand and beautiful background.  I love it.  Art by committee.  I'll do something else today.

Monday--two views/same pose

This was an exercise that made me draw the same pose two different ways.  First, I drew it without looking at my paper, all with one  line.  Then I drew a sketch.  Using the "no-lookie" method first was a good way to help me draw more intuitively.  I think the first picture shows her lean better. The pose is taken from Igres "Valpincon bather", but with a modern model.  (from a photo) (pencils--hb/8b)

Sunday--hands

Hands are hard.  I don't like to draw them.  

Saturday--At a lecture

Making the most of a dull situation.  We were at UNC chapel hill listening to this man.  He had lots of pie graphs.  So, I drew him.  And some of the other people around the room.   He sort of came out with funny.  Big head, no neck.  That's the best I could do with him moving all over, waving his arms.   

sketch 5--looking up/neck

Just a quick sketch, I don't have much time.  With my new pencils.

Sketch 4--bi-racial woman

I did this with charcoal & pencil.  It still needs work.  But, I'm moving onto something else.  Travis got me some new pencils, so I'm going to use those for my next drawing.

Sketch 4--sleeping

Last night I drew a sketch from a photo I took of Travis sleeping with Cole.  Lily saw it and wanted me to draw her sleeping.  Since it was almost 9, I let them watch spongebob while I drew them falling asleep.  It's summertime, so I figure they could go to bed late.  (I'm paying for it today)  But, anyhow, these are the sketches that came out of that experiment.  Cole is clearly faking.  Paige, I couldn't get right.  But, I like Lily's.  Also, I learned I don't like 2b graphite for the inital sketches, because it's not eraseable/smearable.  It would be good for final details.  I'll use charcoal/conte for my drawings today. (graphite/pencil on sketchpad)

Sacred Grove

Travis had me go through the grove by myself for 15 minutes.  I was going to draw, but had to photograph the light instead.  It was amazing.  Beautiful.  

Stetch 3--landscapes and me

On our trip back from Palmyra last week, instead of sleeping I drew.  This was one of those sketch pad throwing days.  I had little to draw other than my feet, my reflection in a tiny visor mirror, Travis or the horizon in front of us.  I started drawing Trav's profile and got carsick.  So, I turned forward and focused on the road for a while.  That's the landscape sketch.  That was kind of a made up landscape, sort of bits borrowed from what we were driving towards.  Once my stomach was no longer queasy, I drew my feet a little.  Then, running out of things to draw, I drew my reflection.  Not ideal conditions, but once I started everything else seemed to fade.  I could only see part of my face at a time, which made it tough to relate one part to another.  But, it also helped me to focus on one area at a time.  I like this sketch, even though the left shaded side needs to be brought in a little.   I have to say I understand why artist did so many self portraits.  You get a very cheap, very still model.  And you can take as long as you want.

(these were done with a pencil (my little ponies I think:) and so I had to darken the scans so they could be seen on the computer)   

Sketch 2--Little cole & big Cole

I love these sketches, because they were done from life.  From the eyes of a Mom.  One's an old sketch of Cole as a toddler, sleeping.  And the other from last week, while watching TV.  This was difficult.  He's wiggly.  But, that's ok. These are kind of hard to see, since they're pencil, and I tend to draw softly.